Monday, 6 July 2015

Searching for 'Me'...

Every now and then, I’d have the compulsion (or, just end up accidentally) clicking and watching my old video recordings… and subsequently wondering where on earth did that carefree, cutesy, bubbly person go? What happened to her?




I do miss my younger self, to a certain extent.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that everything I’ve gone through in life shapes the person I am today. It’s just that I also wonder if that perhaps along with the experience of growing up, I could have kept some of that youngish vibe? Do I still have it, hidden somewhere within me, under the rubble of daily stresses like money and deadlines?

So, it’s time for some self reflection. Can I find that part of me which I feel I have misplaced?

Along with my exuberance, I feel that perhaps I have also forgotten about my dream – the dream to conquer the stage. Yeah, that one.

I’m not certain if you were aware of this fact but Brian Littrell of BSB has a vocal condition called Muscle Tension Dysphonia or something like that. Bottom line is, he’s getting much, much better however, during his toughest moments, he struggled to sing those notes which normally just flow like a river of gold out of his mouth. Sigh. Anyway, once I started researching his condition, I wondered if perhaps all this vocal fatigue, flips and shakes that I keep experiencing (especially within the past year) could be something which I should view from a medical standpoint rather than merely thinking “oh, I’m losing my touch” or “nah, you weren’t that good of a singer to begin with”. I am my own worst critic. It kinda sucks when you, yourself, give you hate comments, lol.

Back to my video hopping down virtual memory lane, I decided to take stock of how my singing has changed over the years. Yes, it flowed more easily and the feels was stronger back when I was younger. However, there was a definite lack in power and oomph in those vocals. So, I guess on my way to becoming a better singer, I needed to strengthen those coordinations and muscles that hadn’t been in use for the past, oh, 25 years?

Perhaps I am good enough, or better than many… I just need to figure out where I went wrong and start doing it right… right?

So… what do I do now? That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it.

I have decided (as of today) that I am going to keep listening to my favourite artists (namely the one and only BSB) and remind myself that the person I want to be is one who is full of positive energy, who can inspire and touch others through my vocal delivery. Let’s face it, what’s the point if I learn to hit all the notes but I sing like a robot who no one remembers? I want to be like the Boys who make me flashback different stages of my life with each different song or album. To be one who tugs on those invisible heartstrings of anyone who happens to be listening. That’s who I want to be.

Now I just have to print this out and remind myself everyday, coz I may forget. Let’s not do that again girl, you can do this… believe in YOU! :)

#NoteToSelf
#SearchingForMe

#WithLove
    nad xoxo~


A photo posted by Farah Nadia (@nadjohnson) on


Sunday, 12 April 2015

New Task Today: Assisting Wound Dressing.. *omg*

My sister is such a workaholic. Or maybe I should call her a very dedicated doctor lol. She insisted on changing her patient's dressing herself, even on her off days, just to make sure that it's cleaned properly etc. So today, she dragged me along (with the promise of lunch afterwards) and so, there I was.. waltzing into a medical ward after years of non-clinical work. 


Now, I wasn't quite planning on going to the ward either but okaaayyy. It was either wait in the car, under the hot sun (with the air conditioning on of course.. but we all know that's not the best scenario) or follow her up to the ward. My sister kindly reminded me that HKL isn't like HUKM where I used to work - it won't be as comfy or have air conditioning in there. Oh well, I still chose the latter.



So there I was.. in my 4 inch strappy black heels and red + black striped dress, following her from one ward to another. And then, *pause for dramatic effect*



She made me assist her. Change. The. Dressing.



It was an open and hollow wound, about 2-3 inches diameter 1 inch deep which she's been talking about for days, for crying out loud! 



Anyway, it would have been awkward being left behind by the patient's bed while my sister suddenly went off to get gauze, sterile set.. yada yada. I look at the patient, she looks at me, her daughter looks at me.. *gulp* 



Ok, let's do this. 



I smile and start making utterly random conversation. As it appears, I'm still decently good at it. Phew. I have always believed that when you treat someone, you treat their wounds and also their spirit. It doesn't hurt to cheer your patients up. A little goes a long way guys. 



Long story short, I really did assist my sister clean the wound and change the dressing by passing whatever she needs to her, pouring out more Dermacyn, etc. As a pharmacist, I'm not trained to physically handle the patients so I didn't.. I just did other things.



I learnt something about myself today though. Surprisingly, I am not squeamish when faced with wounds, not if they're right in front of my eyes. However, if I were to look at the photos (which I took) retrospectively, I feel a little bit weak. Huhu. 



I should have asked the patient's daughter to send me the photos that we took :) Anyhow, I hope that lovely lady makes a full recovery, and soon. Be strong! Aja aja, fighting! 



Nad signs off. Til next time, 

xoxo~

Saturday, 3 January 2015

A page from Nad J's diary of 2010

Hey everybody,

Happy New Year! I have been gone for years, it's crazies.. lol. Hope you've all been well :)

I was clearing out an old Ning account (seeing as the network was closing) and in doing so, I came across a blog that I wrote several years ago...




Sat 27th Feb 2010...

Ohmigosh! It’s morning... I have no idea what time it is..owww... Where’s my phone? (my mobile doubles up as my watch.. hey, who needs clocks and watches when you can have it all in one?)... So, I nearly have a panic attack thinking I could have slept right through my show time slot... It’s quite possible you know... I’m not exactly known for being a ‘morning person’. After 30 seconds of frantic searching, I find my phone and can breathe easy- it was only 8.15 am, I still had 1 ¼ hour to go. Phew, that was close! I immediately head for the shower, 45 mins on the clock. Done ;)

Next came the task of deciding what to wear, getting my hair dried, setting up my laptop & pulling up songs... not to forget, I just awakened from sleep, it might be a good idea to ‘warm up’ (if only I knew how to do that properly.. lol).

Anyway,

As I was getting ready, I checked my email. Lo & behold! I got an email from Terrie saying “ready when you are”.. it was 9 am my time, 8 pm EST. What the?? I got the time wrong? Oh boy, do remember I still had a towel on my head, with no finalised wardrobe plan and better yet, only half a voice erk! I lost my voice yesterday... might be an infection I got from someone at the hospital, all the yelling at the customers probably didn’t help either (yes, you may think it weird that I’d be raising my voice at a pharmacy store but I just had to... and, try explaining to patients why they can’t halve a ‘prolonged-release’ tablet...takes forever! Bless them).

With that email in mind, and a bit of adrenaline rush... panic mode sets in lol! I immediately logged onto MuzikDriven to see what’s up... and to sheepishly request some extra minutes. I mean, I couldn’t possibly do a show with dripping wet hair, now could I? :P

Being the wonderful and indulgent people that you all are, you gracefully accepted my plea..and although I acted like it was all going smoothly on this side of the laptop, chaos prevails! As far as Nadia is concerned, of course... trying to dry my hair, dress, get some snack & water for the show, say good morning to my parents...rush rush rush...! However, my fabulous new baby pink Vaio was calm & collected as could be, thank God for that (I love you darlin’, thanks for putting up with my craziness!)..

Yes, I was saying a thank you to my laptop..which I just bought yesterday evening. LOL! Just in time for the show.

Right, it’s show time! Let’s see if I can bluff my way through 90 mins of live camera feed. I honestly had no idea what I was going to do to keep you all entertained for that length of time...doubt my voice would hold up that long, it gets hoarse after 5 minutes... I probably should have cancelled, but I hate breaking promises. Maybe I’ll play the keyboard a lil bit, choose low songs coz I usually lose my higher register when I’m sick, but can still sort of sing the lows... Maybe I’ll spend lots of time talking & just kidding around.. Nevertheless, to borrow a phrase from the Phantom of the Opera, “The show must go on!”

Well...

I had a fantastic time, hanging out with all of you! It’s been so long.. I do miss doing shows, also being an audience at shows. Oh well, life happens and it’s unavoidable. Dreary thoughts, be gone! ;) You all were, are and always will be such a great, supportive group... I’ll bet at the back of your mind you were thinking, “oh gosh, poor girl, she can barely sing with that throat and nasty cough” lol! I would have thought the same thing :P

90 minutes passed by pretty quickly. Time flies when you’re having fun, and I sure was. I’m hoping all of MD did too. Felt a teeny bit disappointed that my original plan, to ‘wow’ everybody with my new song selections, and such a mix that I hoped everyone got to hear something that they liked couldn’t be realised. Bear in mind, I had weeks to plan for this show, so, bummer!

Whatever... you all rock! And like I said, I had an awesome time :) One of these days, I WILL “wow” LOL!

After the show, Saturday just seemed normal, if you know what I mean. It’s odd.. One minute you’re a bit like an online celebrity, the next you’re just the average girl, doing chores & finishing off your assignments. Lol, the joys of online karaoke hehe...

Well, I spent most of the afternoon in bed, coz I think I still need time to recover. Go away infection, leave me be! Taking my own advice, I’m loaded up on multivitamins, especially vit. C. In case you haven’t heard, there’s no cure for colds and flu. The best you could do is to ease the symptoms... but, that’s masking my body signals so I don’t take meds unless I really, really have to ;)

I think it’s about time I stopped writing. Believe me, I could go on forever.. It’s like telling a story, I love telling it in full detail hehehe. Hoping everyone has a lovely weekend... praying that I’ll be a better person..and that I’ll get a move on with my project write up before Monday.. that there’s love and peace on Earth (okay, okay.. enough with the pageant speak already!)...

Take care all! Lotsa love.. This is Nadia signing off ;)



Wednesday, 27 November 2013

Neat freak..moi??


I never would have thought so. I mean, I live in organised chaos... If I keep things in a tidy and conventionally organised manner, there's a very high chance I wouldn't be able to find what I was looking for... for instance, my brand new Sachs handbag.. my bank book.. mum's bracelet that I kept very very well *sigh*


Nevertheless, ever since I had my own room & bath, I noticed that once I've placed something in a certain place, I'd get a bit unsettled if someone moves it or doesn't put it back in the exact position. Omg, OCD-ness?

I'm not too worried tho.. I figure if it was OCD, I wouldn't be able to live in my home right now lol. Maybe I'm just a wee bit of a neat freak.. just a teeny bitsie. Everything else can be a mess but my bed has to be clear, my toiletries have their own designated spots.. my books are normally in some kind of arrangement.. & if my floor happens to be a bit messier than usual, I can live with that but I wouldn't be ecstatic about it (clear floors = more organised existence, better sleep habits.. lol).

Now I understand why I've never been one to crowd my walls with art or posters... Imagine how 'serabut' my brain would be once I got bored of all that decor.. huhu.

Gotta run.. I'm waiting for my hairdresser to get to work. Let's hope this new do turns out good ;)


Love & hugs,
nad xoxo~

Thursday, 21 November 2013

Jacket hunting!




Ohmigosh.. all I wanted was a chic short black almost-military style jacket... how hard could it be to find it? 

Errrr... very hard! 

I've been feeling that all the cardigans that I've been wearing recently aren't doing my style any favours so I wanted to get a jacket to move it up a notch. I expected a bit of a hunt to find that perfect jacket (which I pictured in my mind) however, I underestimated how difficult it would be to actually find it. 

I have this trait - once I've made up my mind about something, I'd want it STAT (or, yesterday even!)... I wouldn't be able to sit still until I get it done... It's quite irritating, to be honest -_-"

So... Yana & I decided to go on a shopping date ASAP; she for shoes, me for my jacket. Go!

Can you believe that after walking for about 8 hours (in 5" heels too, I might add), going around all floors, from the new wing to the old wing of the hugeeee One Utama, I still couldn't find what I was looking for?!

I made a second attempt a few days after that (alone and determined, ready to search all of Mid Valley & Gardens, if need be). I swear I walked into every single clothing store on the Ground floor, branded ones too (which I normally avoid). The jackets were either leather, wool, or way too expensive... and none with silver buttons & buckles T-T

Finally, finally... I found it! :D

THE Jacket - from Treats, 1st Floor Mid Valley Megamall

Well, it fit 98% of what I wanted anyway.. It was navy blue instead of black but that's ok since navy is the new black ;)

Mission accomplished. *insert some rousing & triumphant music here* :P


Just to note, the shops listed below had some awesome jackets & definitely deserve a mention.

1) The Mod House - has excellent, stylish and elegant jackets that fit me perfectly. Designs are a little on the formal side but it looks real smart, and has designs fit for autumn winter looks (since this is the season). Price is not crazy either, the ones I picked were between RM150 - RM230-ish. I like! :) 


 


2) Nichii - always has great jackets or cardigans at very good prices. Usually has a mix of formal and casual ones... even some 'in between' ones that you can dress up or down. My wardrobe has quite a significant number of Nichii-tagged attires ;) I'm not sure how long this promo will last but you can get 10% if you pay with a CIMB card.




3) Treats - new find! And the store with THE jacket :D Treats has some chic and funky stuff, I do love some of the lines that they carry. It even has those gel-like shoe insoles and the soft small blister-preventing plasters that you stick on the back of your shoes (they're really really good, trust me). And it even has 10% discount if you pay with a Citibank card. Yay!


I get 2 different looks, just by changing my jacket :D 

That's it from me.. Til next time! ;)

Love,
Nad xoxo





Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Estee Lauder Nutritious Radiant Vitality Energy Lotion Intense Moist - my One & Only Toner

The Nutritious Radiant Vitality Energy Lotion Intense Moist.. and it's lovely red box ;)

So this is how it goes…
(I’m writing this while my kdrama is paused and loading ;)

Back in around May, I bought my Estee Lauder Advance Night Repair serum. As usual, I waited til it was on offer and added on a lil bit extra to get more goodies… in this case, a travel sized cleanser, eye cream and toner. It wasn’t just any toner, it was the new Nutritious Radiant Vitality Energy Lotion Intense Moist (it’s a real mouthful that one! I’ve never been able to say the full name so I will call it Intense Moist from here onwards.. lol)  

Essentially, it’s a toner. I’ve been using it since then and I love it! So much so, that I succumbed to the impulse to buy a full sized bottle which retails at a whopping RM180 *faints*. 

Alright, let’s be fair…

#1. It wasn’t an impulse buy – I spent several days pondering the “to buy or not to buy” question
#2. The 4x 15ml sample bottles which I got as a gift after purchasing my cleanser not too long ago was NOT Intense Moist and started to make my skin tingly, irritated.. and a wee bit itchy :( I won’t be using that toner, that’s for sure
#3. It comes in a 200ml bottle so after doing the math (30ml lasted for around 6 months… divide, multiply..yada yada), I estimate it should be good for another 3 years
#4. Umm… it’s promotion time? 
Top: November Estee Lauder haul
Below: Gifts :)

Ultimately, I figured that the benefits outweigh the damage to my finances and bought it. Gulp. I may have to set up a little 'Estee Lauder account' when I do my budgeting :P

I’ve never been a fan of toners. Ask anyone, I’d be the first to question if a toner is really necessary. It was just serendipity that I got a bottle of Intense Moist for ‘free’ and decided to use it.

I won’t lie and say that I can see a difference when I use the Intense Moist (coz, let’s face it, unless there's a BIG sign, I don't notice nothing.. lol!). Although saying that, my skin has been in quite good shape these past few months (thank God, Alhamdulillah)... it might have something to do with the Intense Might, or maybe it's a combination of things. All I can say for sure is that I feel a difference, even if I can’t see it ;) 

I use my fingertips to dab on a few drops of Intense Moist twice a day after washing my face and I can immediately feel a soothing sensation, as if my skin is happily drinking up the Intense Moist. 

After the complete trio (toner, serum and moisturizer), I feel my skin is all so… I don’t even know all the right words to describe it, but it’s really nice and soft/supple. You know that SKII advert where the model taps her cheeks with her fingertips to show the 'bounce', while saying "doiing, doiing"? Yup, that’s exactly how I feel :D 




There were a couple of instances when I didn’t have my Intense Moist with me and had to go without... that's when I really noticed the difference – it was as if my serum and moisturizer were not being absorbed as efficiently (for lack of a better word). I didn’t feel that immediate softness as I did after the Intense Moist.

So… now that I know what it feels like with and without the Intense Moist, I seem to have stapled it into my daily skincare regime :)


Do I recommend it? Absolutely! If you can spare the cash, that is. 

There are 2 formulations, Intense Moist and Fresh Moist so, you’ll probably need to find what works best for you. I can only tell you about my personal experience :)

As for all the write up about the product, I will post a pic of the product insert so that you may read it for yourself (I don’t fancy retyping everything, lol). Here’s a link to a blog which also lists all other products in the Nutritious line, if you want to check it out.


That’s all from me. Love & hugs!

Nad xoxo~




p/s- get your magnifying lens out people..font size XXS, if there ever was one! lol



Saturday, 26 October 2013

InnerShine Prune Essence with Camu Camu


Happy Sunday everybody... Holla!

Let's begin :)



My sister has been taking InnerShine for some time so we’d always have some kept handy at my parents’. Every time I go home for a visit, my mum will hand each of us a bottle and say “here, have your daily dose of Vit C” lol.. thanks mum! :D

Anyhow, one day my mum gave me a 70ml bottle of it (it was huge…huge!) which I drank over 2 days…and later went on a quick trip to my fave Estee Lauder counter in Isetan, Gardens. After getting several compliments about how my skin has improved, I started to wonder if it could have been the InnerShine. Seriously? Is that possible? Or maybe it was just the shimmery blusher that I had on. I honestly couldn’t say coz I feel that I looked the same as always lol.

Nevertheless, I decided to give InnerShine a proper trial run. The experimentation begins!

I’m writing this after about 2 weeks’ worth of InnerShine, and a couple of super busy work-weeks.

Texture:

À      Viscous, very thick.. I always drink water after it. To be honest, I pour some water into the bottle and drink from there – can’t waste even a single drop lol

À      Tastes just like prunes! I’m not a fan of prunes as compared to maybe blackcurrent (think Ribena) but after a few drinks, I’m getting used to the taste.

À      Some may say it’s a bit sour. As I like sour things, that wasn’t an issue for me. I find it quite sweet hence the water afterward.

À      It’s actually rather soothing on an itchy throat.. I happen to have this ticklish, itchy throat tonight and after I drank it (perhaps because of the sourness), my throat feels a bit relieved.. that’s multipurpose, I tell you ;)


The Pros:
        
·     Detox, i.e. good bowel movement 
·         Skin looks better, more radiant or something (dunno how true that is.. maybe it’s my makeup & not the InnerShine at all.. maybe it’s a bit of both.. besides, how DO they tell if someone’s skin looks more radiant? )
·         Eczema flare up / allergies are much, much better controlled. And for that reason alone, I think I’ll continue taking this.

The Cons:
       
·    Expensive!!!
·         Have to drink it continuously for good results (I’ve taken it on & off but after taking it continuously for nearly 2 weeks now, I can feel some difference)

The Ambivalent:

·         More energy? Keeps me awake? However, because I can’t sleep at night (I’m a night owl & am most active after 9pm lol), I get a bit groggy in the mornings… and I don’t eat as much. Between hunger and sleep, I always choose sleep – I’m one of those who can sleep even if I’m hungry. Nevertheless, I don’t “crash” as much in the evenings, not like I used to do so that’s another plus.

*Note* I’ve recently done a little experiment – I’ve started taking the InnerShine in the mornings or before noon. Early conclusion: I don’t need coffee/caffeine anymore lol. And it’s worn off by evening so I have no more trouble sleeping at night, yay. Let’s keep this up, fighting! ;)

·         Good source of vitamin C? Probably coz the absorbance is better from fruit extracts vs tablets.. I dunno, this is only my own opinion and not based on verified fact.



Altho this is a verrrryyyy expensive product, I may continue taking it in the next foreseeable future, at least while my budget allows. We’ll see what happens later on :) Who knows, if I feel the benefits outweigh the dent it causes in my wallet, I may have to add it to my budgeting hehe…

To save the environment, remember to put the cardboard boxes and glass bottles out for recycling. Every little helps :)

If you have any experience using this product, please do share.